Battle of Wills
by small-wonders00
Summary: The stars align and Bond and M move beyond a platonic working relationship.


Six months had passed since M's husband's death and it was difficult for her to think beyond the present without feeling an overwhelming sense of fear. She didn't like the thoughts of the solitary years that lay before her. Work kept her busy though, it always had and now she was grateful for the distraction.

M walked into her dark flat wondering how many times she would enter expecting to see Nigel or hear his voice calling from the next room. She believed herself to be strong but there were times, especially late into the night, when she was aware of her own loneliness.

Turning on a lamp she sensed someone's presence and turned. She knew immediately the identity of the audacious intruder.

"What are you doing in my flat, Bond?"

"Good question. "

"Really, I expect you'll try to take a room here soon."

His eyebrows lifted and he gave a shrug.

"Why are you here?" she asked in her no-nonsense tone.

Bond didn't answer but gave her a hard stare. He was seated on her sofa and looked as menacing as a wild animal. He took a swallow of the drink he had helped himself to and paused before answering.

"I don't know".

She lay down her purse and began taking off her coat. After a few beats he began with a question of his own.

"What do you do here in the evenings anyway?"

"What?" She was completely baffled and felt the beginnings of real irritation at this utter intrusion on both her home and her private life.

"What in hell does that have to do with you? Have you been nosing around?" Straightening her suit jacket she turned to give him an challenging look.

"Find anything interesting?"

"Puzzles."

She was acutely aware of his ability to unnerve her. Realizing that her defensive tone was telling, she opted for an easier line.

"On a good night when I'm not working, I relax. I spend most days trying to keep you in line. It's an exasperating job, Bond. Anything else?"

Bond's lip quirked a bit at her prickly remark.

"And that's what I intend on doing when you leave. I'm sure you were about to be on your way."

"You miss your husband. I noticed that as well."

His unexpected observation startled her and she hesitated a moment.

"I-…Yes, of course I do." she stammered.

"You haven't been seeing anyone?"

He knew she hadn't been but he asked her nonetheless.

She visibly bristled and returned, "That's none of your concern."

"Why?"

"You know why."

The air hummed with electricity between them.

"Fine. Fine. I'm sorry. I was only making conversation. Why do you become such a battle-ax when I'm around?"

"Because you don't know your limits, Bond. You are my agent and I am your boss. End of story. It would serve you well to remember that."

"Have you ever thought of me as anything other than your agent?"

She moved to walk past him and he lightly caught her hand, stopping her. Her eyes darted from his hold on her fingers to the top of his head as he leaned down to…. She jerked her hand away.

"You're moving into territory that will have you severely reprimanded. You do not break into the home of your boss on whims. I've made allowances for you in the past but don't push me. Furthermore, this line of questioning ends now. Leave."

He seemed to have only vaguely taken in her words. His head lifted and his bloodshot eyes locked with hers and in them M saw such a degree of intensity that she instinctively took a step backwards.

"I've thought about you." He left the statement with a lengthy pause allowing M the time to let it sink in.

"When's the last time you got any sleep? You look as though you need it."

"I've wondered what it would be like." He seemed to be enjoying putting her off her guard.

"You're delusional. I won't stand here and listen to this."

She tried to busy herself with putting her purse and coat away.

"Haven't you? Not once?"

"No. This conversation is over."

"I haven't even begun."

"Perhaps you can find a more willing ear elsewhere. Call a sex line, go see a therapist, it really makes no difference to me."

"Are you afraid of what I may say? Or are you afraid I may discover that you have similar feelings? Maybe it's gnawed at you, too."

In two steps he was so close to her that she felt the heat radiating off him and it stole her ability to speak; the control she felt a moment ago had completely evaporated. Her breathing grew heavy and her chest was rising and falling against him. She was angry but her body began betraying her and responding to his nearness. Bond lowered his head and quickly her senses snapped back into focus.

"No!"

She skirted away from him and moved toward the center of the room. She suddenly whirled around to throw him a cutting look that momentarily halted his advances.

"I am not one of your conquests and I will not tolerate this insubordination from you. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you. I'm going to forget this little incident ever happened if you leave now."

It was a warning and Bond knew that with M it wouldn't be so easy. M was different.

He moved back to the sofa and sat down with his elbows on his knees in a gesture of retreat.

"I came here tonight because I felt like being in the company of a real woman. Somehow I- " How could he communicate it? "This is pathetic…..Maybe I should've gone out for drinks and gotten laid instead."

He gave a small laugh but it quickly faded.

"Don't let me be the bloody one to stop you, Bond.

"I wanted to see you," emphasizing his words without breaking eye contact.

He didn't give a damn if she liked it or not. She only continued to stare at him.

"Don't embarrass yourself further."

But he continued.

"I've been doing this job for a long time. You know the mechanics of it all. I do the job and go again. And, then what?…I have nothing to come back to after the job is done. Not one fucking thing. I don't know if it's worth it anymore. "

He looked at the carpet averting his gaze from what he imagined was her reproving look but she wasn't responding.

"Bond, I've never known you to so openly wallow in self-pity. Can't say it suits you.", she said though her face had softened.

M watched him closely, feeling his hopelessness and despite being dismissive of him a moment earlier she now felt sympathy. She knew well his lifestyle and while he bedded plenty of women, the emotional aspect of his life was practically nonexistent.

"Vesper. Is that it? Bond maybe you need some time away. It can be arranged." Her mothering instincts began surfacing because she could not deny that she had feelings for him. There was a certain understanding between them in terms of trust; however, his opening up to her in this way was unusual.

"I thought you might understand. You've always seemed to."

"I can't help you, Bond. Not with this problem. I can only tell you that perhaps you need a break from it all."

He lowered his eyes unable to say more. He was an asshole, he knew, to come here like this, burdening this woman with his problems. A woman still grieving the loss of her husband whom she had been married to for years.

Maybe this was when an agent knew it was time to cut his losses and leave the game entirely although after tonight he didn't know what the consequences of his latest actions would be. Knowing M she wouldn't acknowledge his indiscretion and that only seemed to aggravate him more, he wanted to get to her and make her react in ways he had envisioned hundreds of times.

He saw her shoes come into his view and felt a small hand on his shoulder. His thoughts swirled. Did she know what she was doing by touching him?

"I'll get the paperwork in order if that's what you want."

His hands moved to her sides beneath her jacket and his head fell against her. Quickly she tried to extricate herself from his grasp but he held tight and moved his hands further under her suit jacket until they stroked her back.

His next words rocked her core.

"I want you." Her eyes closed at hearing his words. This was insanity. How had this spiraled out of control?

His hand moved to brush underneath her breast. He was testing her.

"No."

Even to her own ears her protests were beginning to weaken. Her hand tentatively touched the top of his head to get balance as he continued to pull her forward into him.

"You know the implications, Bond. I don't have to explain the reasons why we can never-"

Standing, he broke off her words and kissed her passionately. His tongue pushed past her lips and thrusted inside her mouth. He groaned and kept kissing her, urging her to respond the way he had hoped she would. Ending the kiss, he looked deeply into her eyes, his lips lightly touching hers again.

"Let me." He spoke against her lips, their breaths coming together in gasps. It felt like an eternity as he waited for some sign from her.

"I always knew I made you a double-o against my better judgment."

He felt her breathing grow more ragged against him and he wasn't sure if she was weakening or gathering the strength to truly force him out of her flat.

"I'm the thorn in your side." He bent to kiss the sensitive part of her neck and her eyes closed at the sensation.

"I'll hate you after," she whispered.. She had taken leave of her senses and he knew it.

Inwardly he grimaced but in that moment he was too much a selfish prick to think straight…..and he wanted her. He had wanted her for years and this opportunity would never find a second chance. His mouth covered hers and to his surprise she returned his kiss this time. A soft moan escaped her and it made him shudder. He wanted to be in her, to consume her…..he couldn't get close enough. He had harbored deep feelings for M for years, but once he had spoken the words aloud to her it had ignited a passion that was dangerous.

He led her and she followed him to her bedroom. A brief hesitation at seeing her bed revealed her trepidation but she steeled herself and began taking off her suit jacket all the while eyeing Bond. She needed to prove something, too. It was time.

"Don't freeze up now, Bond. This is what you wanted."

She began fiddling with the buttons on her blouse and uncharacteristically faltered under his gaze. His hand cupped her face and brought her attention back to him and she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Help me…..kiss me," her voice cracked and he saw that her eyes were wet with tears.

His mouth descended on hers as she tried to hold back her emotions but her mouth fell away from him and she clutched his shirt as she cried.

M was exposing herself by allowing such a display of emotion, letting him in for the first time since he had known her. He held her until her breathing became even again and she moved back to look at him seeming to be lost in her own thoughts again. He wondered if she'd deny him now that they were so close to something more.

"Maybe it shouldn't be here-" he said quietly.

"No. Here." And she drew him into a kiss.

Seeing her vulnerability had had the effect of a bucket of ice cold water, much more effective at stopping his advances than her reproaches downstairs.

"What is it?", she gazed up at him with reddened eyes.

"I-…This is-", he stuttered uneasily.

"Don't play games with me, Bond."

The anger flickered in her eyes but more than that he was aware of her passion, he'd never seen such a look from her. In that moment he realized that it could never be a tame seduction between them, their personalities would never allow for it- they were at a precipice and he knew they would never be this close again. Both his hands came around her neck and he pulled her close, kissing her deeply.

He began divesting her of her clothing, her blouse hitting the floor unnoticed. His approval came in small kisses against her neck, a nip at her earlobe, and another heated kiss.

Had her husband kissed her this way?…..He must've but it had been so long. She could not remember feeling this raw physical desire with him.

Why on earth was she allowing this man, notorious for his sexual proclivities with women, to have his way with her? Why had she broken down in his arms? These were questions that would replay themselves in her mind…..later...right now she could only feel and her body was attuned to his touch.

Never underestimate James Bond, she thought, as he already had her on her back with only her bra and panties left to protect her. In another breath her bra was gone. She threw her head back as he gave attention to her breasts. Weighing them in his hands….sucking and nipping for long minutes so that in response she began to rhythmically move her hips against his leg.

A few breaths more and she was entirely naked beneath him. He kissed her stomach and though her body had changed through the years he seemed entranced. Even sensing that he was pleased, she still had twinges of self-consciousness but willed herself to let him look. He ventured lower and her knees drew closed . She held herself up with her elbow and gazed at him with a shocked expression. What on earth was he….? She was no prude but it had been so many years since a man had…..

Quite obviously this was a reservation that came with their age difference. She hadn't the forethought to imagine he would want to do such a thing to her. She just hadn't…..god, she thought she might die on the spot.

"James?" It was a question and an admonishment.

His eyes became dark when he heard his name uttered in that familiar stern tone. He gave a light kiss to one of her knees and slowly drew them apart.

She fell back on the bed and shut her eyes tight, feeling his breath against her sex. The next feeling was of his warm tongue and she nearly shot off the bed in reaction. He was going to drive her mad. It had been so long for her and his ministrations were so feathery light that she began feeling the rush of pleasure quickly and then she no longer cared. Her legs fell open wide and she allowed him anything he wanted…her hands gripping at the bed covering until she thought she couldn't take anymore….finally holding his head to her… She felt him nip at her and she fell over…. A low, hoarse moan escaped her and she shuddered around him, her legs trembling. He would never forget this first intimacy with her though he planned on this being the first of many times.

Slowly he kissed his way up her body savoring every taste of her.

"I feel overdressed."

He gave her one of his devastating smiles and she ran her thumb along his lips.

"I think you may be right." She looked unreadable but utterly focused on him.

"Okay?" he asked to be sure.

"Yes."

"Are you sure you-"

Not wanting to break the spell, she pulled his shirt from the waist of his trousers to stop his question. She was still feeling shameless and she wanted him. He was out of his clothes so quick that she had done little to help him and she marveled at his skills in the bedroom. Clothes seemed to vanish as if my magic.

"You're a beautiful man." She touched his shoulder and her hand traveled lower. The rumors were true, she thought. He quickly grasped her wrist and drew her hand above her head.

"Later."

He kissed her and she could taste her own pleasure on his lips. He tested her with his fingers and finding her wet shifted between her thighs. They gazed at each other a few moments….both in awe that this was actually happening.

"I've wanted you so long."

Looking into his eyes in that moment she believed him. How had she not known? She felt the pressure of him and gasped.

"Do you think…"

"Try," she breathed.

He moved slowly.

"Am I hurting you?" His eyes raked over her face. In response she tilted her pelvis to further accommodate him.

A hundred fantasies hadn't prepared him for the feel of her. She curled her legs around him prompting him to move. His intention was to go slow but the sounds she was making near his ears made him crazed with desire and he began to thrust faster into her, impatient with need. His hand moved between them and began driving her to another release with him.

He abruptly stopped moving and her eyes fluttered open.

"What are you doing?" she asked in confusion.

He had imagined making love to her so many times but to have her pliant beneath him….letting this happen…. This exceeded his wildest dreams.

"Tell me you want this."

He began moving again.

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"I want this."

She felt his fingers on her again.

"Yes," she hissed, her brows furrowing in concentration.

"Tell me you want me."

"Yes….…I want you. Ah….I can't!"

He was favored with a low moan that issued from deep in her throat, the sound of her release….a sound he was now becoming familiar with. Her body convulsed around him and a few thrusts later he came with her.

He moved off her and they lay on their sides looking at each other. Moving closer to him she kissed him long and slow. He still couldn't believe that she was lying there with him, astonished that she seemed to desire him just as much. After long moments of touching her lips and face, feeling the lines of her, she turned over but reached for him behind her back, pulling him close. Neither spoke. He snuggled up behind her…both falling into a fitful sleep.

Later, he awoke in the middle of the night finding the bed empty but immediately caught sight of M standing by her window staring out into the night. He edged slowly around the bed toward her….she didn't turn but continued in her own thoughts.

"Don't regret this," he said meaningfully.

"Reality does have a tendency to smack one in the face, doesn't it?"

Continuing to look out at London she became adamant in her rejection.

"It can't happen again. "

Perhaps she was convincing herself. He leaned down, putting his hands around her waist, and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"It will if I have anything to do with it." he muttered against her ear.

She turned around and shot him a glare that earlier had left him feeling chastised and cut down to size. But not now. Intimacy with her had broken down that barrier. His hand was around the nape of her neck and she wasn't quick enough to avoid his kiss. She responded for a moment and then broke away.

"It's not that easy. And I'm certainly not one of the young ladies you are accustomed to….Eager to please. Ready to bend at your will."

"I'm aware of the age difference. I guess you noticed it didn't act as a deterrent for me."

She waved her hand to silence him.

Her mind was again running through the list of consequences…of this happening between them….of them, period.

"I've made mistakes in the past but….. "

"Letting me fuck you ranks pretty high on the list?"

She sighed at his crudeness.

"This is a disaster. You must know that."

He didn't respond.

"I think maybe you should go."

Moving toward the door she turned to find that he was directly behind her. He placed a hand on the door to prevent it's opening. He was truly the most maddening man. Now she had to deal with an even greater degree of boldness from him.

"You think too much."

He kissed her brutally, angry that she had let him in and was now promptly shutting him out again. Swiftly he untied her robe, the sides falling away revealing that she was still naked. She moved to slap him but he reflexively caught her arm giving her a menacing look but one she returned with equal vehemence. Neither was willing to yield.

"You'll grow tired of me and you know it." She wanted to move but he had her trapped against the door.

"That argument will not work with me. The feelings I have for you aren't new. "

"I warned you that I would hate you."

"But you don't do you, Olivia?" She didn't rise to the bait of hearing him say her real name but he saw her jaw clench and her nostrils flare in anger.

He took her hand that he still held and placed it on his chest, knowing that he was pushing her but he was beyond caring.

"Don't make it so complicated." he said in an attempt to ease her mind.

"Weren't you just talking about your feelings? Who's making it complicated?"

He knew that it was complicated but he wanted her to allow it to happen, to be as open to the possibility as he was. They could take one thing at a time.

"You're a fool," she said in disgust. Too tired and exasperated with him to continue.

He kissed her again and the last vestiges of sound reasoning dissolved as she allowed herself to be pulled to the bed.

This seemed to be the only way he could communicate with her…Her conflicting emotions prevented him the ability to persuade her of anything in regards to their newfound intimacy. He let her take charge, needing to see from her that she'd wanted him just as much. She moved atop him, her head thrown back and eyes closed, with him urging her on and meeting her movements. She was getting close to finding release when he turned her over.

He began to move in earnest and she moved with him. Her eyes closed to her pleasure.

"I want to see you. Look at me."

He was relentless, wanting every part of her….he wondered if it scared her. It scared him.

He saw a tear fall down the side of her face but she kept her eyes fixed on him . She was battling against her own release not wanting to relinquish any more control. He, on the other hand, was gazing at her in an effort to feed his own heart. She came with him looking in her eyes. He was doing things to her that no one had ever dared and she was left feeling burned.

She always knew that he operated on a different plane than the others and now experiencing his sexual intensity firsthand alarmed her.

Afterwards, in a display of apology and reverence, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, the palms of her hands and she was not unmoved by his affections. She smiled in spite of herself.

Anything with this man would be complicated.

At the first light of dawn she turned over to find her bed empty and a note on her nightstand.

 _I've been in love with you for a long time, so I hope it's **you** that doesn't end up growing tired of me._

She could fall in love with him too, she thought. Maybe she already had.

This wouldn't be easy. She had discovered her weaknesses where Bond was concerned and there was little doubt that he had awakened a part of her that she had resigned herself to living without. Suddenly the days before her didn't seem so terribly lonely after all.

The End.


End file.
